Contraband

According to Merriam-Webster contraband is "goods or merchandise whose importation, exportation, or possession is forbidden." Possession being the key word. In my life contraband is many things. Contraband is a bottle of water in my carry on bag at O'Hare, an umbrella at Soldier Field or a camera at a Bruce Springsteen concert. In a kindergartner's world contraband might be bubble gum, candy, permanent markers or a bottle of glue instead of a glue stick. In a teenager's world it might be cigarettes, a cell phone in class or porn. But for a senior citizen............it's salt. That's right, salt. Tonight, as Rick was visiting his Dad in the rehab center, he witnessed his Dad sneaking not one, but two packets of salt to another rehab resident, who we're pretty sure, is not supposed to have salt. Gotta love the old folks sticking together.

Is this what it boils down to? I don't even like salt but my girls better be sneaking me some in my golden years!

May Flowers

Since there is "severe weather" predicted for today I wanted to share my flowering trees with my readers. They are so beautiful now. But once the rains come there will be no more flowers. Good thing rabbits don't climb trees!

GW '08

Hard to believe that we survived another Girl's Weekend. Nancy was the "Hostess with the Mostest" this time around and I must say she rocked ass. We all arrived in Lexington on Thursday night and serious eating and drinking ensued. Shocking, I know. Spent the day Friday taking a tour of Darley Farms where last year's Kentucky Derby winner, Street Sense, is now a serious stud. No kidding, three times a day, everyday for six months. Then they ship him off to Australia for the other six months, again, three times a day. That's the kind of stud I'm talkin' about! From Darley we were off to Keeneland for the last day of Spring Thoroughbred Racing. After a fabulous tailgate we headed in to bet on the ponies. Sad to say there were no big winners that day. Back to Nancy's Lost Creek Farm for cocktails and dinner. Pasta night, YUM! Saturday was the Rolex Three Day Event at the Kentucky Horse Park where we scored the most awesome parking spot. Crazy shit that eventing. It takes an average of 11 minutes to complete the course with the horses running an average of 21 mph jumping over jumps almost as big as my house. There were two horses that were injured in Saturday's competition that ultimately had to be put down. Very sad. Once the bloody mary booth closed for the day we split and headed back to Nancy's for shrimp on the barbie. We've learned over the years that as much as we love each other, we really can't take more than three days together. Sunday rolled around and it was time to head home. We dropped Colleen off at the Louisville airport and Nancy, Lene and I headed to Churchill Downs where I hit the exacta in the 2nd race for some serious cash. We could have stayed there all day but needed to get home. Long drive back to Chicago but we arrived safe and sound. To view all the pictures from Girl's Weekend, click here.

There is nothing better than spending some quality time with my girls. I've known Nancy and Colleen since 7th grade and Lene since I was 17. I would go to the ends of the earth for these women and they would do the same for me. Many people never have a "best friend" but I have three (4 counting K-Ho!) who I wouldn't trade for wine anything.

In other news:

Still not smoking but getting fatter by the second.

Justin turned 35 yesterday, even he is getting old! Happy belated bday dude.

Lauren finishes up her first year of college next week. That went fast.

The rabbits ate all my tulips again this year. Bastards!

My new camera sucks. I'm going to try and take it back to Best Buy. Wish me luck.

This Is Not Right

For someone who hates bugs and creepy crawlers as much as I do, this is just not right. To many people spring means blooming flowers, grass turning green, birds singing, allergies kicking in, etc. Not for me. Spring means time to wash the windows. Not a fun chore in any house but especially mine. Why, you ask? Take a look at this.This is the kind of shit that I find every spring when I open up my windows to clean them. It is not so simple as to only require some Windex and paper towel. Noooooooooo! For me it requires the vaccuum and a strong stomach not to be completely repulsed by the creatures that make my windows their home. It is so utterly fucking gross I could scream. Rick tells me not to sweat the small stuff. This is so not fucking small. There is some sort of creature out there that makes these nests in my windows. I have never seen an actual bug but there are remnants. There are "shells" and "coccoons" and even some small worms. What the fuck are these and why can't they be happy living in the woods? Does anyone know? Does anyone else have this shit nesting in their windows or am I the only freak who still even cleans windows? Neighbors? New York cousins who have lived in the woods forever? Anyone? There will be something special in it for anyone who can tell me what makes this "nest" and how to get rid of it and prevent it from ever returning.

But wait, there's more!

Help! Please help!

Meet Meier Lady

Meier Lady is one of Lauren's new friends at U. of I. She lives with Lauren's friends Mark and Wade. Kind of odd for such an old lady to live with two young men. Go Meier Lady! She's a little quiet but seems to get along with everyone. It doesn't seem to bother anyone that she occasionally dresses up as washed up celebrities like Val Kilmer. Whatever turns you on I guess.

I did survive my first Mom's Weekend at U. of I. It wasn't easy, I won't lie. They tried in vain to take me down. Don't they know the experience I have and the conditioning I have gone through? Silly college kids. After a long night of partying on Friday I felt the overwhelming urge to regress to my younger days and proudly displayed my "dead soldiers" along with those from wars gone by. Long live the Rolling Rock Army!

It was sad that some of the kid's moms didn't show for Mom's Weekend. Lauren was fortunate to have not only me but Karla as well. And so she lent Karla out to anyone who needed a mom and Karla happily obliged.

Crazy shit goes on in college. Crazy shit that I cannot post. Crazy shit that you would not want a future employer to see if your name was Googled. Need I say more?

Happy Birthday to my big (and I mean this literally) brother Michael!

My Bad

This post is the result of being up way too early and thinking anybody even cares about half this crap.

KAUAI - Just our kind of vaca. A different beautiful beach each day. Lots of amazing Mother Earth attractions. One of my favorites was Wailua Falls. Just a short easy drive from our condo leaving plenty of time for one of those beaches later in the day. The warning sign posted at the falls was truly a no brainer. Someone must have sued at some point for them to have to post this sign. You have to be a complete moron if you choose to go beyond this fence. And what's with the bullet holes?

And there was Waimea Canyon which was just freaky. Not a big fan of heights. Struggled at a few of the "scenic overlooks."

And then there was the helicopter tour that I was never, ever, ever going on. After a few drinks one night Rick finally talked me into it with a little long distance help from my brother Bob who told me it would be "life changing." Bob has always been dramatic and the accident has only made him worse. (I say that with only love in my heart.) I wouldn't call it life changing but I am glad I did it. Once. Don't need to do it again. I just kept telling myself that thousands of people do this shit every single day. So can I.
That is my life jacket around my waist. Not a fanny pack. I don't do fanny packs. Not a good look for me! This photo was taken after the tour. We went straight to the bar from here. I sooooooo needed a drink!

We took a ton of pictures and if you really want to see them all click here. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Lauren returned to U. of I. on Easter Sunday after a week long spring break. She didn't go away for spring break, poor baby. Maybe next year. When Lauren is home I can never find my cell phone charger or my Burt's Bees lip balm. I suppose there are worse things in life but my next cell phone will not be identical to hers.

After 4 months J & J finally moved out of our basement and into their newly renovated digs. While Rick and I really love living alone and having our space back, we do miss the kids. Happy hour is a little less happy. And I was just starting to get some weight on Justin. Ozzy is certain that each time he goes down the basement stairs he will find those bad kitties. It's hysterical to watch him, nose to the ground, frantically casing the perimeter of the basement. I miss the kitties too.

We are still a nicotine free household. I have lost track of the number of days but it's since Jan. 15. I remember the date only because it's tax day. Never a good day in our house. Some days are tougher than others but we trudge along.

Off to Puerto Vallarta on Saturday. A bit uneasy leaving all the ailing parents but we think we have it covered. This is our last trip of Lauren's freshmen year. What a year. Colorado, Italy, Mexico, Kauai and Mexico again, all for fun. Kalamazoo, Ann Arbor, Nashville and Providence for IllinoiSkating and more fun. Time to chill at home for awhile. I know Ozzy thinks so. He had it made when we were gone and J & J were living here. Not this trip Oz. Back to Sammi coming three times a day. Ozzy loves Sammi and vice versa but Ozzy would love Sammi more if she lived with him.

In The News

Bobby Brown, the loser druggy husband, or maybe ex-husband by now, of Whitney Houston was recently arrested somewhere out east and charged with possession of a small amount of cocaine. He was found guilty at his trial and the judge actually sentenced him to be a mentor. Are you fucking kidding me? A mentor to who? I don't know about you but I think that is effed up.

Also in the Chicago news, they have taken away Drew Peterson's gun permit. Now there's a concept. Ya think?! What took them so long?

I have too many things to rant about regarding Governor Blowjobavich and not enough time. Some other day.

Anderson family news update:

• Hawaii was absolutely fabulous and I will post more about that soon, I promise.
• IllinoiSkating took 5th place at Nationals. Their best showing ever. Maybe a medal next year.
• Today is day 49 and still no cigs. Rick has been off the chew for 42 days. I've been off the meds for the last 7 days and feel great. So far we have saved $350 on cigs and chew! We're setting that dough aside for one of our sun-filled vacations. Much better spent on that.