Fun(?) Beaver Facts

1. They are the largest rodent in North America.
2. Their lips are behind their teeth so they can gnaw underwater.
3. They grow to be as much as 60 lbs. and 4 feet long.
4. They live for about 19 years and mate for life.
5. They kick their young out of the lodge at two years old. If the young won't leave, they kill them. Nice. When the young leave, they always travel downstream to build their lodge and dam. If they travel upstream, they risk running into their ancestors who will also kill them. Nice again.
6. An adult beaver can carry as much as 200 lbs. They are known to work in teams for heavier tasks. (Maybe there should be a World's Strongest Beaver Competition, it should air on Animal Planet.)
7. They build dams to make one side of the water deeper so when the freeze comes there is still enough water beneath the ice for them to swim comfortably and hide from predators. We wouldn't want the little bastards to be uncomfortable.
8. They can gnaw an 8" diameter tree in 20 minutes; an 18" diameter tree in less than an hour.
9. They prefer willow, ash, cottonwood, alder, aspen, birch, and poplar trees. Fussy fucks.
10. Their lodges are made up of sticks and mud and grasses, often referred to as a mud igloo. They build a "shelf" up high in the lodge to sleep and stay dry from rising flood waters.

I know all this and more but still can't get rid of them. This weekend we will meet with the neighbors for a beaver pow wow. We may have to break down and hire a trapper.

This is the latest casualty and the first one that is officially on our property.

Our First Pro Hockey Game

As a parent of an avid figure skater, I used to proclaim my love for hockey only because when I would see the hockey players arrive at the rink it meant that we no longer had ice time and we could finally go home. Over the years I have seen many non-pro hockey games, although never from beginning to end. So for Christmas, Lauren bought Rick and I tickets to a Hawks game. Very clever idea entwined with a bit of sarcasm, I'm sure. The game was a blast, no fights though. And the Bud Light Zamboni is brilliant. Final score: Hawks 2, Stars 1.

Merry Christmas to All!

I've come to the conclusion that when you host Christmas it is somewhat like a wedding. Weeks of careful planning, baking, decorating, shopping, wrapping, etc. and it is all over in a few hours. Dinner was fabulous (OK, maybe I'm bragging just a bit), the roast tenderloin was bloody (just the way the big man likes it and I don't mean Santa), the tequila was smooth and those late night sandwiches were perfect. The only thing missing was J&J and Mashley. Maybe next year.

Happy Birthday Sophia!

I cannot believe that my Goddaughter is three already. Where does the time go? Now I sound like my mother.

Blog Break

The preparations for Christmas have kept me very busy this week but I wanted to take a minute to share my tree with everyone, especially those that we will not see this year. I love my tree. It makes me happy.

So you know that I am not playing favorites, I love my basement tree too. I will post that picture later.

Who knew?

Twenty years with this guy and I had no idea he could play the clarinet! Together with Roger and Brad they rocked the MGB Holiday Party. There is some talk of bringing back Santa for the Holiday Party. In my opinion, Rick is a much better Santa than clarinetist. It must be the scotch. A good time was had by all, except maybe Sandip who looks as if he's just been busted.

A very happy Holiday season to all our friends at the firm.

Just a Little Funny

I couldn't resist.

11-2 Baby

What a game! Devin Hester is the man. But he really needs to stop taunting the other team when heading into the endzone. We all know that this will eventually bite him in the ass. I can't believe that his teammates don't call him on this. Perhaps they will today. Bottom line; another win, a playoff bye week and a guaranteed home game at Soldier Field. And it is Soldier Field, not Soldier's Field for all you morons that don't know any better.

Gameday

Tonight's the night. If Rex is not with the program and Lovie doesn't put in Griese then I will be convinced that Lovie has no balls. I'm not saying he has to make Griese the starter but give the guy a chance if Rex can't get the job done. What does he have to lose? Not the game since the D has won most of their games anyway.

Two more things: My brother Bob had better be rooting for the Bears. And if the Saints end up facing the Bears for the NFC championship, Marc had better be rooting for the Bears too. After all, tuition for law school can be pretty expensive!

B E A R D O W N !

Just Venting

I do 95% of my Christmas shopping online for good reason. Yesterday I needed to make a liquor run. I ventured into the dreaded Orland during Christmas. Silly me. The traffic was a nightmare (in the middle of the afternoon) and the stores were no better. So I'm in line waiting to check out at the liquor store and the 2 people in line ahead of me are writing checks! Who does this anymore? Have they not discovered the debit card? And if they must write checks perhaps they could have everything but the amount filled in beforehand! There's a concept.

Santa's Watching

"I've been good, HONEST! Except for the pile of barf in the corner of my mom's bedroom and the garbage that I got into last week, I've been the perfect dog. Now wrap up those rawhides, would you?"

By Request

Baked Lemon Pepper Salmon

1/2 cup chopped shallots
1/4 cup drained capers
1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill or
1 teaspoon dried dillweed
1 1/4 lb. skinless salmon fillet
1 tablespoon lemon-pepper seasoning
2 tablespoons butter
lemon wedges

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Place large sheet of foil on baking sheet. Spray foil with vegetable oil spray. Mix shallots, capers and dill in small bowl. Place salmon on foil; sprinkle with lemon-pepper seasoning. Spread shallot mixture over salmon. Dot with butter. Fold up foil edges to enclose salmon; seal. Bake salmon just until opaque in center, about 25 minutes. Open foil; transfer salmon to platter (no duh) and garnish with lemon.

I also cook this on the grill. It takes less time on the grill but it all depends on the size of the salmon fillet.

I must give credit where credit is due. This recipe was passed along to me by my good friend Karla aka K-Ho. She is one of the best cooks I know.

Outsourcing 101

I am currently enrolled in this new class being offered at Anderson University under the instruction of my brilliant DIL. My first assignment went very well with the help of Timmy and Nick, a few beers and a minimal fee. With absolutely no effort on my part (this is where I excel) I bring you the Anderson holiday light show, the best on the block.


Next class: Night Time Photography 101

Less Than 24 Hours Later

This is where we cleared the dam yesterday. Overnight they tried to rebuild but we destroyed their measly effort this morning. You can see how the beavers completely removed the bark from the small tree on the right.

After hearing rushing water downstream we went to investigate. Lo and behold, 3 more dams.
Then there are the trees that they don't actually take down but rather gnaw at just enough to kill the tree.
This puts a whole new twist to the phrase "busy beavers." We welcome any legal suggestions.

Rick v. Beavers, Part II

The beavers are still at it and so is Rick. This is becoming a never ending task. He tears down the dam and within a day or two another is erected. Damn dams!

This time I even got in on the action. They say when you're with someone for a long time you become like them. I suppose that is true in our case. I thought I would never be standing in the freezing cold creek busting up a beaver dam, but here I am. Helluda woodswoman!

Unfortunately, we did not get a shot of the demolished dam. We were just too cold. Rest assured that the job is once again complete. Within an hour the water receded by almost a foot. Tomorrow is another day.

The Party's Over

I learned a few things during the party planning process:

• I am pretty good liar after all
• I am an even better embezzler
• I really should eat more than just an omelet when I'm drinking champagne and tequila all day

All in all I think the party was a huge success. At least Rick was surprised.

And he hasn't changed much in 60 years.

Rick got lots of great gifts. Perhaps he will share some of them with his lovely wife. Like this one:

Lauren was the big winner of the day. NOT!

Between the tequila and the tow truck, I think I was the big loser of the day.

That's right. On the way home from the racetrack, the "Esplanade" (that's what my mom calls it) took a dump on the highway. After the tow truck, our good friends Mike and Sue, who were already back in the HG, turned around to pick us up. We made it home just in time for kick off and more champagne.

A very special thanks to my good friends and neighbors Karla and Sue. Karla was my assistant party planner and I could not have done it without her. Sue was my unofficial photographer taking almost all of the pictures. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. They will do anything for me and I for them. Sometimes I have to bribe Karla with wine but, hey, it works for us!

Rick v. Beavers

Anyone who has ever been to one of our bonfires knows that the best part of our house is our land. Rick has worked many hours, and I not so many, to clear the woods of brush, dead trees (only dead trees), debris, etc. We have abundant wildlife including deer, fox, rabbits, hawks, owls (though we have never actually seen the owls), snakes, frogs, ducks, geese and turtles. On occasion when we get heavy rain the woods will flood. With an exception here and there, the flood is usually gone in about 3 days. The current flood has been around since October 15th. With a bit of investigating we have found the culprit. Beavers. Lots of beavers. Or maybe just one beaver on crack. On Wednesday, Rick spent 3 hours "in" the creek destroying a massive dam. The water receded almost completely overnight. We thought we were kicking ass yesterday. NOT. This morning more water. Sure enough another tree down across the creek.It is out of control. They are moving closer and closer to the backyard. I'm certain my oak trees are next. Standing in one spot I can count 20 downed trees. Some big, some small. The greatest loss would have to be this old willow tree that had a trunk diameter of about 18". Maybe Timmy should load up the shotgun and perch in a tree one night. Or maybe he should just wander the woods in his bear costume. I'll supply the beer.

To Plano

Fuck off. Nuff said.

This Is My Life

So we're going to Vegas for Rick's bday and I've been online searching for shows and what not while we're there. I thought the Price Is Right might be fun since old Bob is retiring next June. Rick nixed that in a hurry. "If I can't stand to watch the bastard on TV why would I pay a hundred bucks to see him live?" End of story.

You Tell Me

Is this the coolest Buzz Lightyear and...

...cutest Tinkerbell ever or what?

Ozzy on the other hand was not too thrilled with the festive bandanna his Aunt Denise made especially for him. He pretty much just wrenched his neck trying to get it off the entire 5 minutes it was on. Those pound dogs are so ungrateful.

It was an eventful Halloween in HG. We had a total of two doorbell rings and three trick-or-treaters. The second two came after they heard me get so excited over the first one. We never get trick-or-treaters and these were the first in at least three years. The houses are too far apart here which makes it impossible for a good "haul." So we turned off the porch lights at 7:30 and headed over to our niece's house for chili on the driveway. Then of course to the riverboat. And, no we didn't win.

That's Right Baby, 7 and 0

What a game today. The tailgates are still the best, but the Bears....They ROCK! Normally we wouldn't be seen with anybody dressed as ridiculously as Timmy was dressed today, but he is our favorite neighborhood kid. He may have knocked himself down a notch after wearing that Bear suit today though. Time will tell. No bigger fans than Me and Rick but I can assure you we will never wear any crazy ass garb nor will we ever paint ourselves blue and orange!

BEAR DOWN!

Tuesday's Special

Every Tuesday the local cantina serves up 1/2 price margaritas. They also offer a great "all you can eat" buffet for cheap. When the question of "What's for lunch today?" comes up on Tuesday it is not a difficult decision. Yesterday, my good friend Karla and I traipsed over to the cantina for our almost weekly Tuesday lunch. When I asked her if she was going to have the buffet her reply was, "Never again. The last time I had the buffet I felt like I ate an entire Mexican!" I guess she's sticking with the beef taco/enchilada suiza lunch from now on.

A Win Is A Win Is A Win

Talk about winning ugly. The Bears did just that last night. But we'll take a win anyway we can get one. The fact remains the Bears are 6-0. Looks like Rex has some work to do over the next two weeks.

Bonfire Recipes

Old barn wood, about one barn's worth
Old picket fencing, enough to encircle your average city yard
Dead trees and ONLY dead trees
Empty beer and wine cases

And of course Rick and his matches. If this is still not enough to keep you warm you might want to try this:

Cafe B-52
4 oz. Bailey's Irish Cream
4 oz. Amaretto
4 oz. Kahlua
24 oz. coffee - Starbucks for me

You can bet this will be the newest addition to our tailgaits.

Can you see me now?

While most of you know that I was born blind in my right eye and understand what blind means, my own survey has determined that 3 out of 4 eye doctors don't get it. Today I visited a new eye doctor, only the 4th eye doctor I have seen in my life. With the exception of my first doctor (God rest his soul- I appreciate him now more than ever), its always the same. After covering my left eye and placing various lenses in front of my right eye, each time asking me if I could see the chart "now", he actually asked me, "How many fingers am I holding up?" If this were a perfect world I would have said, "I'm FUCKING blind in that eye, moron!" I ask you, how hard is that to understand?

All in all I liked the new doc.

Meet Eddie

Here he is folks. Super Fan Eddie. Don't let the fact that it was a balmy day at Soldier Field fool you. Crazy Eddie does this in December too. And he brings us cookies! Can you beat that?

The Bears are now 5-0. Crazy, I know. It's going to be a wild ride this season, all the way to Miami!

And look for Eddie in Arizona on Monday Night Football next week. I'm sure he won't be hard to find.

BEAR DOWN!!!

A True Wi-Fi Family

I'm cooking dinner, Lauren is furiously filling out college apps, and Rick is surfing the web for vacations once Lauren is off to school. Where is Ozzy you ask? Waiting for sirloin scraps of course!

Dubya Number 4

For years it has been all about the tailgate. Not this year. Now it is all about the defense. Poor Hasselsack! Coming next week: Super Fan Eddie. BEAR DOWN!

Oh When the Saints...

Go tromping all over the Falcons, its a good day! Good for America, New Orleans and Marc. If the likes of U2 and Green Day performed at every NFL game, I bet more women would watch. Me, on the other hand, I'll watch any sports on TV except for bowling! Here is a typical conversation between Rick and I on any given summer weekend morning.

Me: We need to cut the grass and do some yard work today.

Rick: OK. Let's just watch Tiger shoot a few holes first.

Me: OK. You ready for a cocktail?

4 hours later we're half in the bag and its raining. Maybe next weekend.

A Whole New World

Anyone who knows me knows that I have lots to say about many things. And so my blog is born. Endless rants on teenagers, dogs, husbands, kids, friends, neighbors, the Bears, the Cubs, bonfires, home improvement projects, holidays, etiquette, cooking, eating, drinking, news, etc. are coming soon. Stay tuned!