Just Call Me Shrek

The party preparations are well under way. But not without incident. Last night Rick, Lauren, Karla and myself were busy doing our assigned tasks. Rick mowed the lawn, burned some boxes we had lying around the basement, carried in all the pop and beer, etc. Lauren cleaned all the bathrooms (she is the best bathroom cleaner!), decorated the basement, cleaned her room, etc. I pretty much cleaned all day. Then Karla and I played "Martha Stewart on a Budget," changed the music in the jukebox (a big fucking royal pain in my ass which is why it doesn't get done often), etc. Everything was going too smoothly. Rick came in from burning the boxes and asked me what was in them. I said nothing. He said there were two big "wheels" that were maybe Styrofoam or something burning in the box fire. Whatever. About five minutes later it occurred to me that the "wheels" were actually the crepe paper I had bought for decorating. He inadvertently burned the entire box of graduation decorations I had ordered a month ago. Under no circumstance should you ever give this man a match. Only those who know me well know what happened next. It was not pretty. So I'm flipping out and Rick is just staring at me, Lauren and Karla are SILENT when Rick just starts laughing at me. He is the only one who could ever get away with that! Not too long after that I took a break during which I played with Ozzy a bit. But just a bit. I turned around in a hurry while chasing Ozzy and SLAMMED the shit out of the right side of my head on the open door of the jukebox! Ice packs and Advil ensued along with a huge bump. Rick couldn't hold back. He looked at my face and said, "Nice goin' Shrek."

Other than that, things are going great. See you all tomorrow, black eye and all!